I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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