Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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