Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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