I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
