GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
