when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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