The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
