dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
