no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
