It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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