Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
