The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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