Ambien. No doubt about it.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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