these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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