I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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