Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
