The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
