YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
