I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
