that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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