a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
