Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
