We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
