I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
