idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
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