she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
