So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
