He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
