She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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