Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
