Sry I called you an 8
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize