Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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