so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
