You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
