Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
