I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Operation Purity has been aborted
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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