I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize