well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
