God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
