would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
