woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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