Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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