So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize