I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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