it was like his penis was on wheels.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
