almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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