they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
