Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You can't motorboat a personality
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
