DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
