Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize