Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If I die, sorry about rent.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
