I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
