he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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