What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
