Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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