lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
