It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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