i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
